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Writer's pictureShashi Kallae

Lessons from Papa: The consequences of Favoritism

Updated: Jun 10, 2023

Papa has been hospitalized due to Acute Kidney Failure. Little Brother has taken on the responsibility of handling the situation, and it has been quite overwhelming for him. Papa has been exclusively communicating with Little Brother, while Sri had no knowledge of the situation until Papa's hospitalization. Even when Papa went to visit the Himalayas, his primary communication was with Little Brother.


Little Brother has always been Papa's favorite since birth. Papa treated Little Brother differently from Sri, but it doesn't mean that Sri was treated poorly in every moment. These dynamics are neither significant enough to fight over nor insignificant enough to be disregarded. However, Papa failed to recognize or understand the long-term effects of his differential treatment towards his sons. As a result, Little Brother has become overly confident and has started to resemble Papa in various ways, sometimes even surpassing him.


The doctors contacted Sri, Little Brother, and Little Cousin Brother, providing an update that Papa's condition is improving, and he can soon be discharged. Sri expressed his opinion that Papa shouldn't go anywhere for the next 2-3 months. In contrast, Little Brother, wanting to assert his role in caring for their father, exaggerated and claimed that Papa shouldn't go anywhere for the next 8 months. Sri listened quietly, while Rose, who was beside him, encouraged him to express his thoughts. However, Sri struggled to find the right words, and the conversation ended, leaving only Little Cousin and Sri to talk for a couple of minutes before hanging up.


After Mama's passing and with Mama being bedridden, Papa never reached out to Sri or his little brother. Although Sri and Little Brother used to call Papa regularly, the responses were often unsatisfactory. Papa would frequently disconnect the call if he didn't feel like speaking to Sri, and he would complain that Sri never called him.


Growing up under Papa's influence, Little Brother has absorbed a similar mentality. He has become opportunistic and disrespectful towards Sri during disagreements, and Sri has responded in a similar manner. This situation has caused pain for both of them. If Papa had treated Sri and Little Brother equally, this unfortunate situation could have been avoided.


There is a saying, 'If you want to slowly destroy someone, start comparing them.'


Conclusion:

Papa's favoritism towards Little Brother has had a negative impact on both of their lives. It has caused resentment, anger, and frustration. If Papa had treated his sons equally, they would have had a much better relationship.


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